We did not do it.

Today was to be our day Christmas shopping. Michaela and I were going to take a day out and go somewhere like Stirling or Ayr- but when we sat down to plan it, neither of us wanted to go. This for the obvious reasons, but also (given all our recent discussions about doing Christmas differently) it just seemed hypocritical and frustratingly conformist-to me at least- Michaela is not so given to wallowing in angst.)

We were going shopping for a lesser amount of stuff anyway- we have been planning different activities and ways of Christmas sharing with many of our friends.

So instead, we spent a day at home MAKING THINGS. 

I made a massive pot of chutney, and another of Piccalilli. I chopped veg for about 3 hours and the house is full of a heady smell of spice and vinegar. We will jar them up with hand made labels.

Michaela made clay Christmas decorations, which she will paint and string together. Later we will make some wind chimes.

And in the process we had a day at home together- listening to radio 4 and CDs. 

While a gale is blowing outside.

Because the joy of the thing is never in the buying. Perhaps there may be some people who like shopping- who enjoy the cut and thrust of Christmas commerce, but I suspect they will be very few.

Here is another post from Buy Nothing Christmas.

I confess- I am going shopping the day after tomorrow.

Christmas shopping.

Because, despite the journey we are on away from this consumer addiction that we call 'Christmas', I have not yet gone (forgive me for this) cold turkey.

I intend to treat this latest journey into the world of commerce as an expedition into a hostile land.

I may not return alive.

This was the name of the Sunday supliment in last weekend's Herald newspaper.

A strange title indeed, as buried on page ten in an article entitled 'A time for others' was a discussion about the work of Alternativity- in which development worker Margaret Paul was quoted as saying this-

We know that our communities women bear the main burden of Christmas and what should be a happy time can be very stressfull, especially where money is concerned. 

Some women see Christmas as a chance to make things up to their children because they live in poverty all year round.

The article also quotes a Samaritans volunteer, who said

People can be very affected by the imagery portraying the perfect Christmas when the reality is that it is different for everyone.

So much more so if you are on your own, or unwell. I know many people who just want to shut their door on Christmas, and wait for the season to pass on by.

What then might be the ultimate Christmas for these folk, and for us?

Does it depend on a colour coded table, set in front of a huge log fire in a picture post card cottage covered in snow? Do it need to be punctuated by the sharing of the perfect presents around the designer tree? All of these things are good- but are they really the measure of what is 'ultimate'?

My ultimate Christmas celebration involves family, friends, food and an appreciation of the coming of the King of peace.

The rest is just decoration.

Because of the direction I started down a few years ago now in trying to break out of the Christmas consumer driven craziness, I find that some things make me angry.

Those advertisements on the TV- with celebrities who supposedly do all their shopping for celebrity friends in some most unlikely store like Argos or Lidl. And then there are the advertisements aimed at parents through their children. I could mention some brand names, but it perhaps would not be fair as they are all up to the same sort of thing really.

After the anger, comes other emotions that might be far less flattering. There is smugness- the vaguely superior feeling that I am somehow 'different'- not like them. Of course this is nonsense- we all live in the same consumer driven culture, and it is so hard to go against the flow. Advertising works- on all of us at some level. 

Then there is this other, more corrosive emotion, called cynicism. I think this is the worst of all. It drives us to sit back, sneer and to do nothing. It is not a force for anything but inertia. It sucks the joy and the wonder out of anything it comes up against. It is the enemy of life.

I think that our lives are journeys- through all sorts of stuff towards the unknown, full of boundaries, and transitions. We do not journey alone, because we are above all things communal beings. We do not journey without meaning, because above all things we humans search for the depth of things- we are spiritual beings. Because of all this, the celebration of seasons- birthdays, feast days, weddings, funerals, etc- is ever more important. 

As a person of faith I might have a particular reason to celebrate Christmas, but I also recognise that the role of the Church in mediating our transitions and life patterns has been largely broken. Christmas is little to do with Christ. Whilst some of us might lament this in our own lives, it is simply not something that we can impose on a mostly secular society.

There is that saccarine sweetness that is sold to us in Christmas card poetry and Hollywood films- something to do with the 'spirit of Xmas'. Which is usually conjured up with pictures of shiny faces, snow scenes, candles and of course, that greatest modern consumerist invention, Santa Claus.

Oh dear, there I go again.

What then is left? After the anger and the cynicism what remains?

These are no small questions, because life is lived in the asking of them. 

I have my own partial answers- which I try to work out creatively with my family and friends and small community. I am sure that you do too.

But first I need to set aside the cynicism, and find inside of me some wonder.

The Christmas advertisements are already being shown on TV- something that most of us will have complained about. The money machine is limbering up...

But if we want to do something differently, then we too will need to make some preparations. 

It is my conviction that although most of us love to celebrate Christmas, we do not feel in control of what happens to us each year. It comes at us like a massive snowball rolling down the hill, gathering all in it's path. Bigger and bigger. 

The controlling factors that result in our powerlessness are complex, but I think some of these things have been part of our experience-

• Collective momentum- none of us are immune from the power of advertising, particularly when all around us people shop till they drop. 
• Making it special- and because of our consumer driven context, this means more consumption. More shiny stuff for the kids, and more booze and gadgets for the adults. 
• Busyness- most of us simply lack the head space to think our way into a different way of doing things. It is all we can do just to go with the flow.
• Obligation- present buying is a socially stressful activity. Getting the right balance between cost/quirkyness/suitability is a pressure for more of us. This is because we value our friends, and do not want to give offence. Remember those awful moments when someone gives you a present and you realise you have not given them one? Do you keep 'spare' presents just in case this happens?
• Lack of viable alternatives- what else would we do? Faced with this, we reluctantly end up just doing the same.

All this suggests to me that if we want to change our approach to Christmas, we have to make plans well in advance.

We will need to negotiate/discuss with our family and our friends. It might mean different solutions for different groups. 

We are part of a community called Aoradh- and last night, we made a start towards our different kind of Christmas. 

Sarah (our 11 year old super-chef) had baked cupcakes. At the base of each cake was a name, revealed as we ate. Later on we will eat another meal together, and exchange gifts only with the person whose name we drew.

The rules are- gifts can be something you have made, or a promise for the new year (babysitting, grass cutting, chest waxing or whatever) or if you need to buy something then that is fine, but you must spend little. 

Will this be less special? Will our community be showing less love and committment to one another? I rather think the opposite- it has already been a means of bringing us closer, having fun- and of course, eating together. We do a lot of that...

Such a man is Reverend Billy, the alter ego of Bill Talen. Check out this article in Sojourners magazine- I have pinched a few quotes as below...

Reverend Billy, also known as Bill Talen, has gotten the strange idea that the Big Corporations, notably Disney, Starbucks, Nike, and Wal-Mart—and their shameless commitment to profit at the expense of human infrastructure—constitute a destructive force in our society. He has, moreover, reached the critical judgment that such a negative ideological force in our society must be resisted, and can best be resisted from a self-aware theological perspective that operates with parody and irony. The purpose of such parody and irony is to expose what seems like an economic operation as an ideological force of totalizing scope in our society. This force seeks to situate U.S. consumers in an uncritical way in the “life world” of consumer capitalism.

Rev. Billy began to take his preaching into the Disney Store, and later into Starbucks, often joined by supporters who would help him stage “shopping interventions,” during which he might, for example, perform an “exorcism” of the cash register. In the process, the Church of Stop Shopping was born, a performance activism nonprofit staffed almost entirely by volunteers, including many professional musicians, singers, and actors who turn up as they’re able at actions and rallies promoting free speech, local communities, and anti-consumerism; tour with Rev. Billy as the Stop Shopping Choir; and help lead periodic “revival” productions.

For a flavour of his 'preaching', there are some clips here and here...

Or check out this 'choir raid' on a shopping centre...

Preach it brother.

It is you know-

It is not owned by Hallmark, or Tescos, or Amazon.

You do not have to fill your house with expensive tat for it to be special. Or cover your house with flashing lights.

You do not have to eat your way through Marks and Spencer nor drink your way through Asda to feel as though it has been worth while.

In order to share it with family and friends, you do not need to load your credit card.

Gifts are not expensive mutual obligations- and they can be of huge value whilst still costing nothing.

So how do we do things differently? I hope that we can start to share some ideas here- so here are a few to start us off-

Personal stuff-

 Presents- is it time to ask what these are, and WHY we are sending them? Is it possible to agree with people that we switch to non monetary gifts? For example-

• Time- make some vouchers for meals, lawn cutting, baby sitting etc.
• Things made- cakes, jam, pictures.

The problem is, that these options can be very demanding- we may simply not have the time, and this then becomes a huge pressure. 

Perhaps the time has come to simply simplify. Agree a low spending limit. Or agree that presents are for birthdays, and Christmas is for spending time together.

Collective stuff-

Perhaps this is the real gift of Christmas- the chance to meet, to share to love, and to connect with the vulnerability of each other.

How might we do this? Perhaps food is the thing- how about a shared Christmas meal, with a different course provided by a different chef/family/individual?

Or perhaps a more unique event that fits your context? For example, we are part of a Christian arts group called Aoradh, and for the last few years have celebrated Advent by organising a mass Sky Lantern Launch.

Focussing on people in greater need-

What about seeing Christmas as a way of releasing resources, in terms of time, money and attention, on those who have so little.

There are thousands of fair trade projects, where you can access not only food and products, but also campaign material.

There will be community groups in your area who need help.

There will be individuals who can be blessed- anonymously if you like.

These are just a few ideas. 

We would love to hear yours.

Last year, we decided we wanted to do things differently at Christmas.

So we sent this letter to our friends and family- 

Dear friends

Last year many of you bought us so many lovely things for Christmas. We are so grateful that you think so much of us that you would take the time to buy gifts.

We know that it is good to receive, and even better to give, but the most important thing to us is your friendship, and in this we are blessed.

But this year, we want to try to make Christmas a little bit different- for these reasons-

We have so much, and others so little

We think that the meaning of Christmas as a festival has been lost under all the commercial madness

Christmas can be so stressful for people- the pressure to shop and spend money at a time when things are very tight

We have talked about wanting to do something different, but have decided that it is now time to actually time to do something

So we would like to humbly suggest that you do not buy us gifts this year.

Some of you are very organised (and very kind,) so may already have bought things with us in mind. If so, it might be possible to give these things to other people, or if not- give them to us anyway!

If some of you would still like to give some kind of gift, then we are intending to make a collection for Oxfam- purchasing some ‘Oxfam unwrapped‘ gifts in the new year.

We really hope to find a way back to a more simple way of doing Christmas- and so most of the gifts we give this year will be things we have made, or commitments/promises. Please know that we think very highly of you, and hope that this Christmas is your best yet.

Love

Chris and Michaela

And our friends respected our decision. We had a lovely time, and ended up gathering some money that might have made a difference to some people whose relationship to the earth is more immediate.

It felt like a start.

Because our house was still full of stuff. Presents still loaded out our Christmas tree. 

This was partialy because we have kids- and applying the above set of principles is a very different challenge when you are 9 years old.

It was also because it is so hard to step off the Christmas merry-go-round.

But this year, we are determined to try again. And in discussion with friends, it seems we are not alone. 

The current state of the economy might push us in this direction- but this is not really about tightening belts because of macro economics- rather (for me us least) it is about trying to find an alternative way to celebrate Christmas.

Because we really love Christmas- as a chance to share, laugh, love and wonder. But those words 'the true meaning of Christmas' are perhaps so over used that they are worn out. It is for you to decide what meaning the festival brings into your life, and the life of your friends and family, but the one thing that we might agree on is that Christmas is not about money. It is not about debt. It is not about over consumption.

This site is an attempt to encourage us to look for our own deeper meaning, and as we do this, to STOP contributing to the madness. If we can, where we can.